1000 Shades of Grey
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Disastrously, my chair has broken. The wonderful shiny new chair, which I had lovingly constructed and molded to fit my posterior through months of use sadly wasn't up to the task, and one of the castors split in two.

Rather than get a new castor, I'm to have a whole new chair, whilst my old faithful friend is sent to the great chair graveyard (or the bin as it is otherwise known).

After a few days preying on the unsuspecting chairs of colleagues gone on holiday my new chair arrived today.

I gleefully carried it upstairs, and opened the box of delights before me - no wizened old man and episodes of shrinking for me, instead I find screws and castors everywhere as some of the packaging appears to have split in transit. Unpeturbed I remove the parts from the box and conduct a quick roll call of parts. Base: check; Back: check; Castors * 6: check; Screws * 12; No - only ten have survived the journey: Washers * 4; No - not one of them has made it.

I mention the missing parts to my colleague who ordered the chair, and a quick phone call to the manufacturers requesting the absent parts is met with the surly suggestion that we go and buy the missing bits from a DIY store. Needless to say this was not the desired response, and the chair is now repackaged and will be winging it's way back to the manufacturer post haste.

The wait for a chair to call my own (again) continues...

Cleaning up
Sweepstake time in our place last week, in anticipation of last Saturday's John Smith's Grand National (not quite as classy as it used to be, is it?)

Now, my problem with sweepstakes is the fact that I never win. I always blindly give away my money and promptly draw two clapped out old nags who already have one hoof in the glue factory yard, so it was with some hope that I drew Innox and Royal Auclair (both of which were valued at 25-1 or better, so in my mind were certainties to win).

Trusting to the fickle finger of fate, I hauled myself away from an incredibly hectic weekend of DIY to see how my horses faired. Once the false start was out of the way, they were off, and on the long charge towards the first fence. Over went the leaders, and the following pack.

Apart from Royal Auclair and Innox, who both contrived to fall over. Now I could accept one of them going (valiantly at Beacher's Brook on the second circuit, provided the other went on to win), but both falling at the first? It's just not cricket, such sporting failure hasn't been seen since we last tried to pass a baton in a men's sprint relay event, and even they normally wait till the final changeover to drop the bloody thing.

So the office sweepstake went to someone else.

Happily the £1 each way bet I had on the winner, and the horse that finished third, meant the afternoon wasn't a total disaster...

Incidently, fans of office sweepstakes, crime fighting and half-man half-bear unicyclists might enjoy this post by Jonathan.

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