Chip and pin
To the vets again! This time it's for Cleo's second set of inoculations against the evils of the outside world. Unfortunately due to my not being very awake first thing in the morning and standing with the door open, she's already been outside, but only briefly before being rounded up and ushered back in to the house.

Once again the massive struggle to get her into her carry box is fought, with bribery, brute force and pleading all employed to a greater or lesser degree of success before finally we succeed in getting the door shut with her inside.

Having managed the brief car journey to the vets, we register Cleo and take our seat in the waiting room, surrounded by a collection of vastly inferior animals; the cat manages to sneer serenely from her cage, before we are finally called through, the last appointment of the day.

Unfortunately, instead of being confronted by the over-vigorous stroker from last time, we get a different vet. It's a lady, who despite her small stature would clearly meet any job description where the title of the post holder is "matron".

She sternly drags Cleo from her retreat inside the cat box and forcefully grasps her whilst shoving needle after needle of injections into her, and then she asks us the question: "So, should I microchip her for you? It should really be done before she goes outside."

Little does she know…

Adopting the approach that coming to the vets is a chore we could all do without (the cat particularly) we say yes. At which point matron pulls out a massive needle, bips it under a chip scanner and proceeds to try and force its contents in to our poor cat.

"What tough skin she has!" says the matron, in a manner disturbingly similar to the wolf in little red riding hood, before finally forcing down the plunger and electronically tagging our cat. To confirm everything is OK, a tri-corder is wafted over the cat, and reassuringly bips in the right place.

Having been electronically tagged, I wonder whether we can now expect visits from some kind of feline parole officer, checking up on Cleo and ensuring she sticks to a government imposed curfew, or alternatively whether we will receive a pin number through the post, and be able to load electronic money on to the cat, before using her to pay for goods in Tesco.

"Card, cash or cat sir?"
- posted by Paul @ 3:17 pm