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1000 Shades of Grey
Monday, March 07, 2005
 
Mocked by fate
"Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink."

How the words of the Ancient Mariner applied to us this weekend shows how God appreciates irony as much as the next man (provided the next man isn't Alanis Morisette obviously.)

Having enjoyed an excellent weekend in North Wales, including a trouble free journey on both the M1 and M6 on a Friday night, our Karmic retribution arrived with a vengeance when we returned home on Sunday afternoon.

Upon entering the kitchen, we were confronted by water pooling on the floor, and moving out from beneath our new kitchen units. Much swearing and scrabbling later we managed to identify the problem (a leaky pipe fixing) and locate the stop cock.

Unfortunately most of the pipes leading to our house are old and crap. The stop cock is no exception, and unfortunately fails to fulfill its primary duty and actually stop the water.

A bucket was found and an elaborate scheme involving putty, cling film and an ice cream lid was concocted to channel the escaping water into the bucket (I doubt a Blue Peter badge will be forthcoming – which is a shame).

Unfortunately, we're going to have to replace a strip of pipe to solve the problem. This will mean that we have to take out our new and previously shiny kitchen units (and probably replace those that we fear have been damaged by the water).

The irony is that we currently don't have any available running water apart from that collecting in the bucket and a slight trickle from the tap. So making a cup of tea, or washing hair are currently complex tasks, and having a shower is something we can only dream about.

We also have to empty the bucket at regular intervals. Needless to say, our sleep pattern last night was made uncomfortable by the need to get up every three hours to empty the bucket.

I imagine this is similar to the experience of new parents constantly getting up to attend to the needs of their children. Only with more liquid and less smell.

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