1000 Shades of Grey
Monday, November 01, 2004
Beggars can't be choosers
Last night, sat in front of the TV when I hear a noise.
Tap, tap, tap.
I presume it'll go away if I ignore it, but no a few seconds later it's back.
Tap, tap, tap.
So I drag myself from my seat in front of the TV and go and open the front door.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the date, I am confronted by a selection of small children begging at the door. With no Big Issue to sell me, it seems a poor deal to my mind, but in the spirit of good-neighbourliness, and to avoid having my car windows smashed, I give them all some sweets, shut the door, and return to the TV.
Half an hour later, and I hear the noise again.
Tap, tap, tap.
Unfortunately in the intervening period, my wife has cunningly scoffed most of the remaining sweets, leaving me to offer the local beggars some fruit. Fortunately they all like fruit (or at least that's what they have been told by their Fagin-esque parents), so my car is safe again.
Unfortunately we've now run out of sweets and fruit. This leaves us with a not particularly pleasant dilemma: should we hear the noise again, we can turn out the lights and hope they go away without vandalising the car; answer the door and tell them to go away;or offer them each an onion or raw potato.
We went to bed shortly afterwards.
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